Databricks One
Brief thoughts on naming, since I always seem to talk about names of things.
My irritation with Databricks’ overuse of the words ‘catalog’ and ‘workspace’ and Tableau’s similar offenses with the word ‘view’ is legendary (among the poor souls who are my coworkers and colleagues). And so while I’m very interested in Databricks’ new interface layer for everyday business users, you know I gotta say something about the name.
If you haven’t logged into your Databricks environment for a bit, you might not have noticed this splash screen popping up:
Despite announcing Databricks One last June, it only entered Private Preview this week and is finally popping up in Databricks Free Edition. The concept isn’t new - squirreling away technical spaghetti in favor of a sleek interface is essentially the spirit of Business Intelligence, if not the bare definition, right? Plenty of platforms have tried to abstract the tech away from the fragile end user - I’m reminded of Excel pivot tables powered by SSAS multidimensional cubes sitting on top of Kimball dimensional models in SQL Server, I’m reminded of Business Object Universes, I’m reminded of every dashboard I’ve ever created, more or less. In fact, in Databricks One’s particular case, I had a flash of recognition I hadn’t felt in years: I’m reminded of the old Mac OS Launcher, or even the once-infamous/now-kitschy Microsoft Bob1.
But I’m actually popping in to ask Databricks, why oh why did you call this thing ‘One’?
Microsoft would like a word with you.
HTC would like a word with you.
Google would like a word with you.
I’m not sure what my point is here, other than I’m unimpressed by Databricks’ name for this new user experience. I already thought Databricks’ ‘Lakehouse’ is a tortured metaphor and a campy name. But ‘One’ seems bland and not even descriptive of what it’s necessarily trying to do - I mean, I guess besides hiding the complexity of Databricks’ technical side, it’s also trying to unify the information and tools a business user needs?
But why not use that word instead, e.g. some wordplay on ‘unify’. Or iterate on the already established ‘Unity Catalog’? Call it ‘Unity View’ or ‘Unity Hub’? Maybe try to merge it with something having to do with AI or insighst or something, heck just say ‘Unity Insights’ or something and help me sell this thing to end users. Help me convince executives to use this thing. When I tell the Senior VP of Important Business Fluff to ‘go to Databricks One’ it doesn’t pack the same oomph if I told her/him to ‘go to Unity Launch’ or ‘go to Unity Portal’.
Okay, enough sour grapes. If you’d like to check out Databricks One for yourself, it’s a simple clicky-click right in your existing Databricks Free Edition environment:
And if you haven’t set up your Databricks Free Edition environment yet, I’ve got it all covered right here.
Obviously I’m not going to cite Microsoft Bob without also mentioning the best McSweeney’s article to ever grace the internet.
Another time, I’ll give my opinions on Dave Eggers - I mean, I kind of hate the guy even as I snap my fingers in frustration and say “dammit I should have had the cojones to write a book and call it that.” because in the late 90’s you could get away with calling your first book something as self-indulgent (which, of course, reflected the biggest issue of the text itself, e.g. self-indulgence ((I write, in a self-indulgent parenthesis in a self-indulgent footnote to what is ostensibly a self-indulgent technical blog I know I know)) ) as “A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius” and it could be both knowing and earnest at the same time. The late 90’s were a simpler time.
But that’s for another time.
For now: I'm Comic Sans, Asshole - in 14 years I’ve never grown tired of revisiting this.
Some honorable mentions:
U2 would like a word with you.
Some coconuts would like a word with you.
There’s, like, dozens of these. Who knew so many companies named their product ‘One’? But, okay, you get the point.